A not so beautiful media misconception
“It reminds me of my favorite poem, which is:
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I'm a schizophrenic... and so am I!"
—Bob Wiley, What About Bob?
Movies and television seem to lump counseling into two categories. It’s either a joke, like MAD TV or Peanuts Cartoons, or a harrowing, earth shaking, life-altering, psyche exposing dive into a person’s life, like Good Will Hunting. In my experience, however, it's somewhere in the middle, so I’ve identified three ways in which Hollywood has skewed our views on therapy
Enlightenment There is an expectation that therapy will bring about enlightenment, presupposing a certain set of experiences. Sometimes people expect to have harsh truths or buried events from their past unearthed. While many who seek therapy may have harsh truths revealed or difficult memories dredged-up, there are many who will not have these experiences. This does not diminish the despair of those who have not experienced trauma, but it does mean that not everyone is going to have a grand revelation in therapy.
Emotion The emotional depth we see displayed in movies usually occurs over shorter periods of time during multiple therapy sessions, not the entire hour. Put simply, it’s difficult for a person to maintain that depth for that long. You never see the full session which should include initial levity or easing into the topic at hand. A good therapist knows you cannot go for the metaphoric throat in the first five minutes. It’s like strength training—you don’t walk into the gym one day, pick up a 400 pound barbell, and leave ripped. When a client is dealing with issues that have been months or years in the making, the therapist will help them ease into heavy conversations.
Entertainment For the most part, people who come to therapy feel crazier than they are. I’ve seen many clients with odd behaviors or fears, but they are behaviors and fears that belong to a real person with a real life. As a therapist I get to know my clients and establish a relationship with them because I want to always humanize them and empathize with their struggles. While there are often funny moments in therapy, it’s absolutely not humorous when a person discusses seeing or hearing things because it causes them real distress and pain. We should never make a mockery of someone’s discomfort for entertainment.
We approach every experience with expectations, and therapy is no different. For better or for worse, our expectations of counseling are shaped by media and it’s important we recognize its impact as we facilitate and participate in therapy. Can you identify an instance in which your perspective of therapy was influenced by media? What was the biggest difference you noticed between how you thought things might be and how things are?
If you have any questions about steps you can take to pursue treatment or support those you love, please contact me at benton@lamppostcounselingcenter.com.